In the Presence of God

Blessings to all.....

I am so excited to see what God is doing in my life, in the lives of my friends, and in the lives on my teammates.  He is revealing Himself and His mighty works to us everyday.  He is so glorious and worthy to be praised.  I am so thankful that I have a Father who loves me so much that He sent His son to die for the payment of my sins.  I am such a sinner and so unworthy for that amazing sacrifice, but He gave His son because He loves us and that through Him we might be saved.  What a great God we have! Thank you, God, for loving us!!!

I wanted to let you know a little about what is going on in our lives; me, Marissa, and Matthew.  I wanted to share just little ways we have seen God's presences and His work in our lives.  It says in Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three are gathered together in My name I am there in the midst of them." I absolutely love this verse, because I know where there are two people coming together in the name of Christ there He is.  It is just this beautiful feeling when you can just feel Him right there beside you.  This happened to Marissa and I about a week ago at a prayer and worship night at Remedy, our college group.

After worship we separated off into small group or individual prayers.  Marissa turned to me and asked if we could pray together, and I was so excited to pray with my beautiful, amazing sister.  We went into the  back room and began to talk and pray with one another.  I feel totally blessed to have a sister in the Lord who loves and supports me; who encourages me everyday to seek a closer and fuller relationship with God.  As we were praying, I could feel God's love just pouring out on us.  There were only two for us but as it is said in Matthew "Where two or three are gathered in my name there I am there in the midst of them." He was there present and listening to us, surrounding us, and comforting us.  It was just this beautiful moment in the presence of God.  

We ended up missing the last couple worship songs, so we decided to worship God where we were.  We  said "Lord give us a song to sing." The first song that came to me was 'Surrender.' (I'm giving you my heart.  And all that is within.  I'm laying it all down.  For the sake of you my king.  I'm giving you my dreams.  I'm laying down my rights.  I'm giving up my pride. For the promise of new live. And I surrender it all to you, all to you. And I surrender it all to you, all to you). Right as I began to sing Marissa turned to me, "That was the song I was just about to sing." At that moment a chill went through my whole body, because I knew God was right there in that room with us.  We began to sing out to God, singing we surrender all to Him. After Surrender, I began to sing, "The splendor of a King...." and Marissa yells with excitement, "I was just thinking 'How great is our God'."  At that moment, we looked at each other and just knew our Lord and Savior was in this little dark room with us, and it was beautiful. There were just two voices, but God heard our praise.  Even through the chaos of the world and the heaviness of our hearts, He still heard us and meet us right where we were.  We knew that moment was so special, and there was no way we could just leave that place.  So we kept on worshiping God with our voices.

We were in that room for quite a long time, but we just did not want to leave because we felt His presence.  In silences, I heard Marissa begin to sing, "He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy. And Oh how He loves us."  What an amazing testament to God, that we know He loves us, and that we can sing that out to Him.  There is so much junk going on in both of our lives, and Satan is trying to get in and destroy who we are in Christ, but because we know that "He loves us" we have a rock to stand on.  We know we have a God who is fighting for us, and because of that Satan has no foothold over our lives because we are His children and Oh how He loves us.  Thank you for loving us...

It was just an overwhelming and beautiful night.  We sat there in the presence of God singing songs and surrender our hearts to Him.  It was this time of total peace within our souls.  We ended the night out singing as loud as our voices would let us  "WE LOVE YOU, OH HOW WE LOVE YOU, YES LORD WE LOVE YOU,  OH HOW WE LOVE."  We thanked Him for loving us, and we wanted to yell out how much we loved Him.

This was just a beautiful moment that I was able to share with my amazing friend, sister, and teammate.  God has been moving in our lives and revealing His mighty works. He has blessed the three of us with the deposit money we needed by April 1, 2010 for our trip.  This was just a blessing for all of us.  We have been a bit worried at times about our funds, so for that money to come in it was just another great confirmation that God is going to be working in such amazing ways.  We sent our deposit today, and it was just this relief knowing we are totally 100% willing and ready to be used by God. Our hands are wide open and we are saying "YES LORD!!! Send me." Please keep us in your prayers, while we are continuing this journey.  Love you all so much. Be blessed. Amanda  

On Planting, and Watering, and Growing

Hey everyone!

It is definitely Amanda's turn to write a blog, but she hasn't done it yet, (hmmm...) but I wanted to take a few minutes and write what has been on my heart lately.  We are leaving 3 months from last Thursday, and our deposit is due in about 2 weeks.  We have delivered many support letters, and are now just waiting on God's perfect timing.  It is much easier said than done.

I have been spending the past 5 months since I've returned from Kenya really meditating on what it means to be a servant, and whether or not I made any sort of a difference at all during my time there.  If I am being completely honest, those 6 months were the most difficult 6 months of my life, however, the experience changed me from the inside out and I will never be the same again.  My biggest struggle with the experience came from my own human desires and needs to have my work validated and affirmed; it's so difficult to attempt to plant seeds and try to love people as much as you can and not see the fruits of your labor.  In Kenya, I would spend my time with the boys, and I would pray and pour my heart into their lives, and they would still choose to live on the streets and sniff glue.  For every boy that wanted to change, there were 5 more running to the streets.  The hopelessness of the country starts to wear on you, and it takes submission to the Spirit to keep from becoming cynical.  I cannot begin to explain the toll it takes on your heart and your spirit to be amidst the poverty, corruption, and spiritual oppression that exists in that country and so many others like it in Africa.

I did not build anything, I did not teach in a classroom or perform surgeries or donate millions of dollars for relief in Kenya.  It still pains me sometimes, to wonder if I even made a difference.  But I had to really give my heart and my actions over to God.  If I can say anything about missions, it is this: you cannot change anyone.  But God can.  You have to sacrifice yourself everyday and devote your time to God, and trust that He will take care of it.  It sounds really silly, and I wish I could give you the actual insight that is coming from my heart, but all I can say is that it is so much harder to really live it out than it sounds.

I actually took the time to read through most of the New Testament during my 6 months in Kenya, and I came across this verse that convicted my heart.  In 1 Corinthians 3, it says, "After all, who is Apollos? Who is Paul? We are only God’s servants through whom you believed the Good News. Each of us did the work the Lord gave us. ⁶ I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow. ⁷ It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. ⁸ The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work. ⁹ For we are both God’s workers. And you are God’s field. You are God’s building."

 We spend so much time wondering if we are doing this whole "life" thing right, that we forget that that's not even the point.  We are meant to serve and love God, nothing more.  It is not my job to change Kenya or the Dominican Republic, or even the people of Sacramento.  It is my job to humble myself and dedicate my time and my service to loving people and reaching them, because that is the job that God has given us as His children.  It does not matter who plants the seed and it does not matter who waters it.   It does not matter how many kids run to the streets in Kenya because God is in the business of changing lives, and I am in the business of following God.  If I skip that middle step, and try to take over God's business, then this spiritual economy that we have going on is screwed because I never took a business class and I hate money.

This is my prayer for our team, and for my own life and my own calling: that we would simply seek God's will and somehow get transfer into the lives of the people that we meet, no matter where we go.  Loving people is a tricky art, one that may or may not ever be mastered by any human, but it is our calling to attempt it, and trust that God will clean up the mess we make anyway.  We are so excited as a team to get out there and spend time with God's beautiful babies and the wonderful people of the Dominican Republic.  Above all, we seek to honor and serve Him.  Please keep us in your prayers as we continue on this exciting journey!  We love you all, and thank you for reading!

Love,
Marissa

P.S. We also need financial provision.  As I said above, our deposit is due in a few weeks.  Please say some prayers with us! Thank you!

P.P.S. On a brighter note, I spent some time with a guy from Kenya who now lives in Sacramento and goes to my church.  He was a street boy in Nairobi, and sniffed the glue and even went to jail.  But he and I talked a lot about his life and my experiences in Kenya, and how I question whether my time in Africa even matters.  I asked him if he remembers seeing any wzungu (white people) in Kenya, and he said he did.  He remembers their help, and he remembers going to an orphanage started by a mzungu and that was where he turned his life around.  He was sponsored by Compassion International, and is now here in America. 

So, it matters.   (Not that it matters whether it matters.  Because it doesn't.  But it still makes me smile.)

Video Blog # 4! Team UNITY

“Surely we can change…something.”

The other night the three of us went to what we thought was going to be a college and young adults group at a church up in Vacaville. It turns out they’ve done some reorganizing with the program and what we went to was a jr. high and high school event. We were cool with that, especially because we only were really going for their worship anyway. Worship was great at this place, passionate anointed people leading a huge group of young people in praising God, it was awesome and I’m glad we all went. We bailed after worship and then we did what we always do; we sat in my car in the parking lot, listened to music, and talked to each other. That night we actually had things to do in my car! We had a stack of 120 support letters for this trip to stuff into envelopes and get ready to send to everyone we know. We sat there for probably two hours listening to a David Crowder Band CD and folding letters. It was great, and we always have good conversation. But then something happened. We had just finished putting together the last of the letters, and were just talking when the last song on the CD came on. Amanda whispered, “Turn it up.” For the next six minutes we sat there without saying a word to each other but simply listening to this song, soaking up every word. It was one of the holiest and most worshipful moments I can remember in a long time. It didn’t take a big band, fancy lights, a big group of people, or a snazzy video to go with it all. God met us where we were. He met three college students sitting in a car in a random parking lot in Vacaville. It was perfect, just sitting there with those two friends and being moved by the Holy Spirit in that way was something special. And then there was the song itself. It wasn’t just some random David Crowder song, and this one has been speaking to me for a long time now.

“Where there is pain,
Let us bring grace.
Where there is suffering,
Bring serenity.
For those afraid,
Let us be brave.
Where there is misery,
Let us bring them relief.
And surely we can change,
Surely we can change,
Oh surely we can change…something…the whole world’s about to change.”

“Surely We Can Change” by David Crowder, it’s quite a song.

For a long time I’ve been chasing this idea that I can somehow, with the help of God, change the world and make a huge difference here, all the while thanking Him that I haven’t become too cynical to believe otherwise. I often have conversations with my friends about this stuff, whether or not we think we’ll make a difference. Most of my friends think it’s impossible to make s significant difference in our world today. But I love this song because it’s about just that, about making changes in the world, and not big sweeping changes but rather real change that effects the entire world, change that stems from single acts of kindness, peace, and grace, change that affects one person at a time. Just look at Jesus, he completely changed history by teaching his message and loving weirdos. This song is why I’m so excited for the Dominican Republic. I get to go to a foreign country and love people for eight weeks, what could be better than that? I’ve always said that I want to change the world, and I hope that we are.

Like I said, I’ve had plenty of conversations lately about my place in changing the world. Often I become discouraged because my friends believe there’s nothing we can do that has any significance. But when I look at myself and where I’m at, I think I’m at a point in my relationship with God and my own willingness to go for Him that there’s nothing else I can do but at least try to change…something.

-Matthew

Video Blog #3! We put together support letters!

Video Blog #2! We have a support letter!

We finally have a finished support letter. We're a little excited.

"The greatest among you will be your servant."

Hey everyone!


It's time for our weekly blog update. We'll try and update this thing at least once a week, usually on Mondays when we have our team meetings. We're really getting things going with this trip; we've all told our families, we're starting to really feel God's call and each of us are getting real confirmation from God that this is what He wants for us. We are continually praying for His guidance and further confirmation that this trip is God's will. I know we would all really appreciate continued prayer for us as we continue stepping in faith to be His hands and feet.


But the big question many people have been asking us is "Why are you going?" This isn't an easy question to answer, and we've all been wrestling with this call. We've all had to ask ourselves if this is really what God wants for us. There are plenty of reasons to want to go on a mission trip: it's something exciting to do, it's a new experience, it's an opportunity to get away from all the crap here for a few months. But when it really comes down to it and after we've all prayed and looked into ourselves I think the answer to that question is simple. Aron said it best, we want to go because we "want to be like Jesus."


Jesus says, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." (Matthew 19:21). That's a pretty heavy command, I wish I could sell all my crap and live like that. Honestly though, I'm not at that point yet, but this trip is a first step. Jesus tells us to take care of the poor and the orphans and that's what I'm doing this summer. God is giving me the opportunity to do what he commands and give up two months of my summer vacation to serve others. I can't wait. In Matthew 23 Jesus says, "The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." (Verses 11-12). We're not going so we can tell everyone what awesome people we are, we're not interested in our own glorification but rather God's glorification through what we do. We're going to serve the people of the Dominican Republic. We're going to serve God. 


Keep us in your prayers! Thanks everyone!


-Matthew